My Scratch Card Itch


All my life I have just KNOWN that one day I would win and win BIG on the scratch cards. Don’t panic, this day hasn’t arrived, but arrive it will, and when it does I will greet it saying, I’ve been expecting you.

A, before-it’s-been-scratched, scratch card is a thing literally exploding with possibility, full of potential, like frogspawn. I fondle it first, admiring the stunning designs, then pull out my lucky penny. Before scratching the silver asbestos covering off, I relish the pitter-patter-pit-pit-pat-pitter of my beating heart (I know, I should see a doctor) and I read the directions of how the game works, thereby prolonging the last few delicious moments of poverty before RICHES spew forth and I can build fortress gates with numberplate recognition facility, that swing slowly open when I draw up in my supervan. Oh to be filthy rich. Typically, despite my conviction that I am a man of dentistry, density, destiny, and thusly in line for fortune’s windfall, my card is not a winning card. Occasionally fortune teases me with the prospect of ultimate victory, “OMGA !” (oh my giddy aunt) “I’ve revealed 3 ‘wads of cash’ ” but when I scratch off the panel that reveals my PRIZE, it is not the life-changing amount I genuinely anticipate, merely the cost of the card in the first place.

The disappointment and misery I feel post scratchy, is profound, and every time I go through it, I tell myself that this has to be the last time.

I know these experiences aren’t unique to me. There are millions of us around the world going through the same anguish on an hourly basis, but my friends,  fellow sufferers, I for one have found a cure. For the last few weeks I have been PAINTING PORTRAITS OF MY LOSING NON-WINNING (sounds more positive) CARDS. This way I transform something which is frankly miserable and useless into something triumphant, for ART my friends is triumphant. The other benefit is that it takes quite a long time to paint one of these cards, which means I don’t buy nearly as many as I used to. What’s more, and I could be pushing my ‘luck’ here; If I could sell these Scratch card portraits that would only add to the success of my attempt to turn things around. It’s up to you It Could Be You?! The price is available on application (somewhere between £290 and £310) they are of course actual originals, painted in gouache on thick mountboard and measure approx (imately) 16cm x 21cm.



17 June, 2015 (21:11) | Musings | By: admin