Well, it’s nearly that time of year again, yes, you know what I’m talking about, (and the title of this musing gives you something of a clue) it’s the Olypmics again! A lot of you have been asking me (mainly from the spirit world, through my spirit guide) why on earth I wasn’t chosen as one of the official Olmypics artists and to contribute a design for the authorised poster collection. As you kept reminding me they asked everyone else, even Tracey Ermine (she has changed her name now that she is so rich and successful) and I was literally quite hurt for a bit. As turning negatives into positives is my stocking trade I have done just that and am proudly revealing to the world my own unofficial contribution to the fun and Games.

Of course throughout the design process I’ve had to tread on eggshells as Lord Steve Ovett and his committee have some pretty (as in very) shit-hot lawyers who come down like a ton of red bricks on anyone who is trying to cash in on our I mean their Olympicks. For this reason I have had to make a few changes to what you might hope for and expect in the poster design. Firstly I have to change the name from LONDON 2012 to the original Greek name for London which is of course LONDIS (I think). This is much more authentic, but irritatingly there is a chain of grocers also named Londis. I’m taking a risk here but I think it’s highly unlikely that they can afford lawyers that are very shit-hot. To be on the safe side I have added the sponsors names to my poster, you can’t be too careful and I don’t want to shit everybody off!

The most startling thing you will notice when you see the print is that it is in 3-D. The reason for this is that the last time I issued a commemorative print it was for the William and Kate Royal Wedding. That didn’t sell so well (not at all) and I thought that might be because it wasn’t in 3-D. Traditionalist don’t be alarmed, the only bit that is 3-D is the smoke billowing from the torch, which I add on by hand, using cotton wool and glue. As for the imagery on the print, I have persevered with the faithful rings, but used a tea mug, which is very native. In front of that is the piece of resistance for this poster, a photograph of the Olimpick Torch made out of cheese flavoured pastry! If you are wondering, it is the real deal, I got the actual designer of the real torch to cut it out for me and insert the perforations (not all 8000!) by hand with a (Greek) kebab stick. At the bottom of the print is a typical view of London with all the usual landmarks and a queue of London vehicles all making the traditional gesture of greeting which is a two fingered ‘V’ salute. I have also added in the foreground, to finish on a soberer note, a red squirrel, who sadly won’t be attending the pageant, as they are now tragically extinct, due to man’s over-callousness.

28 June, 2012 (15:21) | Musings | By: admin