This is a rather long overdue posting, but what with one thing and that other thing and the revisions for my forthcoming loo book (The Middle Class ABC published by John Murray 25.10.12) I have simply not had the time to blow my own horn about what I did for the Wizard Brown. In briefs I was contacted by the Derren Brown production team who thought that I might be quite cheap had a lightness of touch and reddy wit and called me to London for a meeting. It went much as you’d expect a meeting to go with a wizard i.e. I fell into a trance and woke up 2 hours later with my trousers round my ankles. They assured me that this is quite normal/paranormal and offered me the job. What followed was an exciting month of drawing and painting and achieving likenesses of the inhabitants of a Yorkshire town called Todmorden. Brown (Derren) had cunningly encouraged the populace to believe that their’s was the luckiest town in England and that if you patted an iron dog in the local park all your dreams would come true. The mood we wanted to conjure in the animations was that of The Exorcist Ivor the Engine (the plucky little steam train who puffed about in Wales), which suited me fine as it meant the drawings didn’t have to be very good. But, as the famous expression goes “a picture is worth a thousand pounds” (I wish) here is a link to the animations so you can see them for yourselves

As you have just seen (unless you got diverted on Youtube by pole-dancing squirrels) they came out all right, particularly after my animating conspirator Simon Ainge breathed life into the drawings and made the characters blink (a lot) and walk about. But it still came as rather a surprise when we got nominated for a craft BAFTA (should be called CRAFTA?) So on beautiful sunny Sunday in May, instead of spending the day cleaning the car, clipping the hedges and hand-gliding, I got dressed up, drove for 3 hours and spent the whole day in a blacked out sports hall in East London. Having endured hours of drinks and chatter and watching other happy talents collecting their awards our time came. Former ‘Sale of the Century’ host Nicholas Parson sachetted onto the stage, and we watched clips of the nominated teams, Top Gear, X-Factor, The Cube and us. I gripped my speech in my hand, heart bashing away in a dry throat, and Parson opened the envelope……..

We didn’t win! I tricked you! The photograph above is not a BAFTA, though you may well have been fooled into thinking that it was. It is actually a chocolate, shaped like a BAFTA which they had the gall to serve with coffee. I gilded it myself when I got home, who wouldn’t have done the same? The winners didn’t take coffee, bizarrely they seemed happy drinking Champagne all night. Oh what a miserable day. Still I now know what is the saddest thing in the known universe. It is a piece of paper with an unused acceptance speech on it. I would scan it and show it here, but it is too upsetting for those of a nervous disposition to behold. The main consolation to not winning is of course the beautifully un-cluttered nature of the awards section of my website remains still, completely devoid of content.

25 June, 2012 (16:44) | Musings | By: admin