VERY GOOD BAD REVIEW OF MY CHILDREN’S BOOK
Sometimes I forget I ever wrote the highly informative children’s book ‘Kit and Willy’s guide to the Dogs of the World’ as I never receive any royalties. But just the other day, instead of royalties, the publisher sent me this splendid review from America, written by what we can safely assume to be, an actual proper stereotypical politically correct American. For those
few many of you who do not possess a copy of the book (for some reason Amazon say it is out of stock despite the fact that there is a warehouse full of unsold copies somewhere in Kent) I attach scans of the highly offensive pages.
This is the review from Kirkus:
A little boy named Kit and his dachshund Willy are the narrators of this SERIOUSLY FLAWED BRITISH IMPORT written in the style of a child’s illustrated school report about dogs.
Kit wears a 10-gallon hat and declares that he is “a cowboy from Montana in the good ol’ USA.” A short text is combined with clever spot illustrations of Kit and Willy introducing 13 different dog breeds with hand-lettered labels and speech balloons (complete with corrected spelling errors). PROBLEMATIC TEXT AND NEGATIVE RACIAL STEREOTYPING are present in the narration and illustrations for two breeds. In the description of Afghan hounds, the text states that because of the war, “everyone is too busy fighting to take their Afghans for walks, so they feel quite sorry for themselves.” The illustration shows a character resembling a cartoon-style Native American shooting at Kit (in a tank) with a bow and arrow.
The pages on Pekingese dogs include a stereotypical cartoon of an emperor with a conical hat and long pigtail as well as a cook chasing a dog with a meat cleaver. The text asserts that “some people in China eat dogs” so “if you are a Chinese dog then maybe you should think about moving anywhere else.”
THINK ABOUT BUYING SOMETHING ELSE. (Picture book. 4-8)
Fabulous punchline, cleverly adapting my phrase into quite another phrase guiding people quite firmly away from buying this book. Of course in my defence I was clearly referring to the old days of Ancient China when the emperor did actually look like Fu Manchu and as for eating dogs people do eat dogs in China several thousand will have been scoffed while you were reading this!
As for the Afghan war, in my version as well as the Red Indian, there is a UFO, a Spitfire, a parachuting dog and a child in a tank waving a sword, ok, it’s not 100 percent historically accurate, but what’s not to like? If you do want to see any more pages from this highly controversial book then you’ll just have to buy it (and hide it if an American comes to visit).